True Life: My husband got arrested on NYE.

Boy, I've dated a lot of "bad boys" in my time, but I never in a million years thought that the man I married, David Henry, would be the one I'd have to bail out of jail.  

You should know a little bit about Dave before I get into this story.  He's quiet.  He never really did anything too bad growing up.  He never really has highs or lows... he's just kind of a stable, predictable, yah know....normal type of guy.  You would think living with such a sure-fire, laid back husband would be boring.  Wrong!

This is the New Years Eve that tops them all; the one that just landed us a pretty doggone good story to tell in group icebreaker discussions {yay for me!  I've never really had one of those!}; and the one that we will NEVER forget. 

Once Upon a New Years Eve...

My husband, in his pajama pants, was instructed by the authoritarian version of myself to let our whining Westie outside to pee.  Our house was a disaster from Christmas.  No joke.  This was our front foyer.

When Dave opened the back door we hear blasting sirens in our house.  I run to put in the alarm code to shut them off.  We just got this brand new alarm system installed right before Christmas because I watch too many criminal related television shows we were going to be out of town.  I was here when the men installed it, and I swear they never told me what code to give to the dispatcher if we were to set it off by accident.  

About 5 minutes after the alarm goes off, the phone calls start.  They ask us for our code.  Dave gives them what we think is the code based on my advice.  Obviously, we were wrong.  

The policewoman shows up at our door.  Keep in mind our foyer looks like we truly have been ransacked by a possible robber.  Dave answered the door in his pjs and I took off running upstairs with Wyatt because I was in a scummy t-shirt with no brassiere.  Eeeeek!

I hear Kennedy and Dave being all chummy with our lady detective.  They exchange some affable  dialogue, the door slams, and I'm back to boiling some water in my kitchen.

In the meantime, Kennedy, who is potty training, decides it's time to poo.  We sit her on the potty.....and sit and sit and sit and sit.  I call my mom and laugh about the fact that a police officer came to Kennedy's house, and that I'm worried what the neighbors would think.  Dave assured me they probably just thought it was a security system thing. I go back to attend my water {I was starting to cook some things for our New Years get together with our friends} and that's when we hear "the knock".  

I grab my bare butt Kennedy and crusty faced baby and I haul tail in my indecent clothing up the stairs.  I sit Kennedy on our upstairs toilet so she can finish her business and figure the lady badge bearer was back because....um.... she forgot her gun, maybe?  Needless to say, I was cursing the alarm company for being so thorough in their investigation.

In the midst of poop coaching, Dave walks in with a white face.  Honest to God the last thought on my mind was that my Dave was coming to tell me he was getting arrested.  

This is his prologue:

"Apparently when I got pulled over back in 2008, they say I never paid some type of a ticket in Laurel County."

Me:  Wait, where is Laurel County?

Kennedy:  Mommy, I poo pooing! {All smiles}

Dave:  I'm not sure, but I have to go with the officer and pay something, so I'll call you in an hour and you can come get me.

Me:  Wait.  What? ARE YOU BEING ARRESTED!?

Dave:  Yeah but it's not going to be a dramatic thing like that.  

Well... two police officers, handcuffs, neighbors staring out the window as my husband is hauled off in a cage later.... yeah.... my very predictable husband was wrong.  According to my screaming Kennedy, who may have to enter some type of psychological treatment to deal with police women, it was that dramatic.

I freaked a little bit.  Maybe even grabbed the pillow to my face and screamed?  I'll never tell.  I called my friend Whitney first {for those who don't already know... Whitney is a dear friend that I met through Kennedy being friends with her daughter, Ava}  and asked if I could drop the kids off.  Not every day you get to call your friends and ask them to watch your kids so you can go bail your husband out of jail.  God, I'm thankful for friends that don't ask questions, drop everything and come and love on my babies regardless of what is going on in their minds.  We are so blessed!

Whitney actually was at MY house within 10 minutes.  While getting dressed I didn't really realize that I threw on some 3 sizes too small, pre-baby Yoga pants.  I'm not sure if I was looking much more decent than I did to begin with.  Nonetheless, after discussing how much money I needed to go get from the bank {since I don't keep cash on me}, I head out to search for my husband the convict.

First thing on the road, I call my friend that will remain nameless. I knew she had been arrested prior to me knowing her and she was from the town we live in and would know exactly where to go.  No answer.  Then, I call my friend Ginny, who's dad is from our town that we live in.  {I'm not originally from the place we live now, so I'm unfamiliar with...well... let's just say I'm unfamiliar with the justice system in general.}  Ginny's dad calls his defense attorney friend for advice.  A million thoughts are running in my head.

I call my brother-n-law, Steve, and he finds out that I need to go to the detention center.  I was so happy since I was already down town.  The BIGGEST game of the year pretty much was going on downtown and there was absolutely NO parking anywhere NEAR the courthouse, so I head towards the detention center based on my brother-in-law's direction.  Thank God I didn't have to parallel park or I could've ended up in jail too.

Isn't our detention center kind of pretty?  {Don't you love the fact I documented my journey to free my bird.}

I arrived!  FYI a detention center is a scary place.  The parking lot is sketch.  There are some extremely shady looking/criminal looking people at a detention center.  Oh!  Duh!  And now my husband is one of them!  Geez.

Let's just say I found it necessary to hide my wallet under my sweatshirt for fear of the crowd I was surrounded by.  Call it judging a book by a cover all you want... I call it being smart!  HA!  I learned to be paranoid from my mamaw years ago... the Criminal Minds and Law and Order didn't help my problem much.

Just to make things more difficult, Dave had my debit card in his wallet.  I had to go in and sign a bunch of paperwork for them to give me the debit card.  Then, because their credit machines were broken, I had to go to the bank, go to the courthouse and then return with a bond for my husband's bail.  Keep in mind that I'm on a time crunch.  They informed me that if things started getting busy he may have to stay in over night since it was a Holiday.

Fun morning.  What every girl dreams of.  

As I leave the detention center, I am approached by the sleaziest little lawyer.  He asks... "what's a pretty lady like you hanging out at a place like this?"

This was me.  My husband in distress' knight in shining armor.  Okay, I'm not stupid.  I was looking about as skanky as ever this particular morning.  My teeth hadn't been brushed, my hair was a grease pit, and I had my wallet rolled up in my sweatshirt creating a front butt effect.  Maybe it was the x-rated, snug Yoga pants, but my guess is he was just an ambulance criminal chaser hoping to find a good case.  It's a good idea, really.  I would probably hang out in the parking lot of a detention center too on New Years Eve if I was a defense attorney.  

This was my first of THREE business cards I received from a  lawyer that initiated with some use of the words "pretty lady".  Call me a pretty lady after a shower, but not looking like THIS!  It turns to insult under these circumstances.  HA!

Okay, in attempt to make a very long story short..... I was FINALLY able to present Dave's bail, and 2 1/2 hours later.... 

Voila!  Dave is FREE AT LAST!  Strike up the Lynyrd Skynyrd Free Bird!

And this is what we discovered after the incident.  Dave had been pulled over passing through Laurel County on business in 2008 {I was pregnant with Kennedy at the time, we were living in a different house and Dave had a different job}.  He did NOT receive a ticket, however, he didn't have an updated proof of registration with him.  Dave says he mailed it in, but my momma told me to never trust a criminal.  Supposedly some of the smaller towns in Kentucky are updating their systems through e-warrant {still unsure what that even is}, and basically lots of people are currently being arrested for silly things like failure to show proof of registration.  The officer told Dave that some poor guy was arrested due to some type of parking citation in a smaller county from 1993!  Consider this your public service announcement from my family to yours...... check your background for citations and make sure they are taken care of!!!!!  My husband was arrested for owing $50 to Laurel County!  

Funny thing, we have never received ANY mail informing us that this had never been taken care of.  You would think it would cost them less money to mail some kind of a warning vs. arrest someone.  Just saying!  I find myself asking.... were the handcuffs really necessary?  I guess though in all honesty, you can never tell when a person who fails to show proof of registration may go all rogue on you.  

After all, he does look pretty sinister with his beard.  My brother-n-law was glad to see that justice was served, and especially glad that Dave hadn't shaved in a while.  It totally adds to the mugshot.  Nothing like a true friend to send you your husbands mugshot via text.  Thanks Ginny!

Dave said he was a little weary when one of the men in the holding cell was in there due to some sort of violence and the other due to possession of a crack pipe.  He said his butt was squeezed together trying to think of some sort of scary crime to share with his cell mates.  He didn't want to be known as the pansy who was in for failure to show proof of registration.  No telling what those guys would've done to such a softie!  HA!

I'm not sure what the funniest part of the whole story is... but it was pretty darn funny that Dave was assigned to the welcoming committee at church the next day.  We had a GREAT time in Sunday School class this morning! Yep... Wyatt's daddy was arrested yesterday and he attended his first church service this morning!  

One of our friends suggested Dave lead with "you know I was arrested once" someday when boys come to date Kennedy.  No sense in letting them know the real reason.  {Yeah... I let my dog out to pee once and...} 

Dave never thought that this would be the NYE in his life that he would be arrested.  I never thought this would be the NYE I'd be bailing my husband out of jail.  You never truly know what tomorrow holds!

So yeah... there you have it.  This is real life people!  We had a real bangin' end to 2011 to say the least.  

BUT we started 2012 off right...... 

In church, of course.  ;)

Happy New Year Everyone!  Cheers to a year that will hopefully not lead to any future arrests!

p.s. Dave wants me to add that he has no criminal record since there were no actual charges.  Now that he paid his 50 bucks... it's like it never happened.  HA!