I've Got My Hopes Set High

I was absolutely devastated to hear of the passing of a very special childhood friend this week. 

I was 10 years old when I met Kristin.  {Long brown hair over one shoulder pictured above.}  She was cast as the lead in Jenny Wiley Theatre's production of Annie.  I was her "little Molly".  That summer was the first play I had ever been in.  It changed me for the better, and she was a big part of it.  

{Me as Molly.  Kristin is in the red wig.}

From a little girl who was afraid to speak her name in front of one person... I was able to perform in front of hundreds.  From our Fazolis mother/daughter dates between grueling practice at the David School, to her teaching me the "Miss Suzy had a steamboat" song & the Lorena Bobbitt version of In the Jungle, to sleepovers where we'd paint our toenails and she would share her dreams to be a star mixed in with a few stories of her pot belly pig... I had the best fun.  She was so charismatic.  She could light up the room by walking in.  The energy surrounding her and her mother and the fun they brought to life was infectious.  That summer was one of the most fun summers of my life.   It wasn't just about that though.  Kristin made me feel special.  Here was this beautiful girl who was beyond talented....

 

She was gifted, and she took the time to make 10-year-old me feel good about myself.  She helped me to believe in myself, and because of that summer with her... I was and never will be the same.

I have held the memories of that summer near and dear to my heart.  In a way... she was my childhood idol.  She was everything I wanted to be.  I'm not sure if there was a person that beamed more than me when she opened for a Shania Twain concert. She never treated me like the annoying little kid that I'm sure I was... she loved me and encouraged me and made me feel like the most special little girl.

When Kristin's mom passed away a few years after that summer, I'll never forget when I found out.  I was at a Little League baseball game, and I think I immediately turned white.  My heart fell out of my chest.  Kristin's mom was just as wonderful as Kristin.  My mom and I loved Bobetta dearly.  She died in a terrible car accident, and I can remember walking into the funeral home shaking.  Kristin and Bobetta had the best relationship.  There was nothing to prepare me that day for what I would see.  As I walked to hug Kristin, she fell to my arms in the ground and weeped.  I weeped with her.  There were no words.  We just held each other and cried, and I knew in that moment that Kristin was never going to be the same.  Her hurt was deeper than anything I have ever experienced.  My heart still aches just thinking about it.  I didn't have to say anything that day... in those moments when Kristin was so vulnerable I knew that she knew how much I loved her.  I often think about all the people I love that hurt.  If my love was only enough to help the pain.  Thankfully my Savior's is and my prayers are heard. 

Kristin sang a song at church called I've Got My Hopes Set High by Amy Grant.  Some of the lyrics go like this... "When it all comes down.  When it all comes down.  If there's anything good that happens in life it's from Jesus."

   

Through the years I lost touch with Kristin and what was going on in her life.  She went on to marry and was blessed with three beautiful boys.  Somehow I grew up too.  It's a funny thing when your childhood idol and you end up on the same level.  We rekindled a friendship through Facebook, and were able to share stories about our kids, and it was fun to be updated on one another's lives.  

I was shocked to hear that Kristin passed away yesterday.  I didn't feel like the adult version of me hearing the news of a friendly acquaintance.  I felt like my 10-year-old self again losing my biggest role model...losing my friend.  And then my heart ached for her three babies.  The oldest is only 8 years old.  It's Christmas and I know any time is a tragic time to lose a loved one...but it's Christmas.  

Life is full of bad things- death, being one of them.  Life is also full of some really great things.  I am reminded of who those great things come from in the lyrics to the song that Kristin once sang.  I am thankful for the time I had with her.  I'm thankful for the good that came from my relationship with her.  I know God crossed our paths for a reason, and somehow everyone that was a part of that summer is connected in some indescribable way.  Kristin not only had a huge influence on me, but God used her to impact so many.  I know that was from Jesus.   "I've got my hopes set high" for Jesus to bless those three little boys with the greatest love and peace and comfort that only He can give.

Lastly... just wanted to share this.  This song brought me great comfort when Kristin's mom passed away.  Who would have guessed it would bring me comfort upon Kristin's passing too?  May they and her sweet brother, Dusty, all rest in peace together.  No doubt they are making beautiful music together in Jesus' presence. {Please mute the playlist at the bottom of the page.}