When Stupid Brains Happen to Pregnant People

This is one of the most stupid.... embarrassing.... tacky and inconsiderate things that I have ever been guilty of in my ENTIRE life.  Read the whole story.  It's that good/bad....whichever way you choose to look at it!


Let me preface this story with some background info.  


One of my best friends since childhood, Ginny, can be a rat.  She is a master at pranks and lies and jokes.  In the years I have known her... the two of us have engaged in several mean practical jokes.  We also tend to get together and have a case of the dummy brain.  My mom and Ginny's mom always used to say that we shared a brain cell.  The things we would laugh at.... would only be funny to us, and most of the time we are so slap happy that you would probably think we are the most stupid girls on the face of the planet.


That said.  


I have another friend, Stephanie, you may know her from here.


Stephanie is having a sweet baby boy, and Ginny offered to throw her a shower.  I told Ginny I would help out!  I love planning and throwing parties.  Ginny threw me a baby shower when I was pregnant with Kennedy, and Stephanie and I threw Ginny a surprise birthday party last year. Ginny and I have been brainstorming for weeks, despite our busy schedules.  About two weeks ago Ginny came over and we talked about Stephanie's shower.... I was doing a banner and helping with food and I was also planning on helping her put together decor/favors and help set up.  I knew Ginny was busy with work and I was going to my parents for a week, so somehow... someway... I thought I was supposed to be waiting on Ginny for a green light on what to do, when to be there, etc.


Keep in mind I had received an invite when I got back from our vacation SEVERAL weeks ago with the correct date and time and which my name is boldly listed as a hostess.  {cringe}.


So while at my parents last week, my mom and I talked about Stephanie's shower several times.  I hadn't heard anything from Ginny, so I wasn't sweating it.  I got it in my brain that the shower must be the next weekend since I hadn't heard.  Without the SLIGHTEST worry/thought/ or desire to look at the invite info.... I thought, "Gosh, Ginny is soooo busy.  I wish she would go ahead and let me know when I need to get with her to do that stuff.  I can't wait."  That was my thought process.


Meanwhile, Ginny tried calling me on Thursday of last week.  She didn't leave a voicemail, and I get HORRIBLE service where my parents live..... sooooooo.... I had no indication of a missed call.  


She worried a little if I remembered the shower.


On Saturday, {the day before the shower}, I decided to text Ginny and let her know how cute the banner was and that I had received it from etsy.  She gets the text and is RELIEVED because she assumes I am on top of my game and know that the shower is the next day, however, I don't know this.  She doesn't mention anything about me coming to help her do anything or anything about food because she is assuming that I must be busy with Kennedy....otherwise I would have offered myself.  I am still clueless and she is still too nice to boss me around.


Sunday---day of the shower.
I spend my day at church and relaxing... all the while... the banner for the shower is laying on my kitchen table in the open.


The shower starts at 6:30 p.m.  I'm oblivious....despite the invitation I've had FOR WEEKS.


This is where the story gets hilarious.


I get a text from Ginny... 20 minutes AFTER the shower has started that says, "Are you coming?"


I see it and laugh.  I say out loud.... "She thinks she is sooooo funny.  Ginny just sent me a text and is trying to start a prank making me think I'm missing Stephanie's shower.  She is so mean."


I wait a while.... thinking I'm not even going to reply.  Then I decided to respond and this is our text convo.


Ginny:  "Hey girl u coming?"
Me:  "What?"
Ginny:  "Stephs shower Tonight at 630"
Me:  "What are you talking about?  You are a devil."
Ginny:  "It's tonight.  For real"
Me:  "Rat.  I don't believe you.  Give it up."




Then I get the bright idea..... I'm going to make her feel really bad for trying to prank me.  I say, "I'm sorry I'm in the middle of an emergency".  


Okay... so you may be appalled that I lied about having an emergency.  If you knew our relationship... you would know this was okay.  I was waiting for her to call feeling guilty she was messing with me so I could tell her something stupid like my emergency was a case of some nasty diarrhea.... and then I would send her a nasty internet picture from google search to confirm.  Again.... you are probably confused at this point.  Please know that this is the stupid humor that is and has and always will be acceptable for me and my friend.


So I wait.... still... she never calls.  I figure something came up, and she will call me when she can.  Dave suggests checking the invite just to make sure Ginny is not telling the truth.  I shut him down quickly saying, "TRUST ME YOU DON'T KNOW MY FRIEND LIKE I DO.  You wouldn't understand.  I'm not giving her the satisfaction of walking upstairs to dig out the invite and confirm what I already know....the shower is next weekend.  PLUS... she never even told me what to bring or what time to come set up.... soooooo I KNOW I'm right."


An hour passed.  I started getting nervous and summon Dave to check the invite.  He tells me that Ginny is right.  I tell him that he is just as dirty as she is and that I don't believe him.  I tell him to quit lying to me now.  Enough is enough.  I'm pretty sure when I FINALLY looked at the invite and accepted that the SHOWER was truly happening at that very moment... the shower was almost over. 


I wish you could know the horror that ran through my veins and the sickness that took over in my stomach.  NOT only had I missed my friends shower... I had volunteered to HELP host.... then not only did I NOT show... I didn't send a gift.... I called my other friend a devil and a rat and accused her of pranking me and THEN I lied and said I had an emergency.


I panicked.  I dialed Ginny's number off the hook.  No answer.


I began texting her my explanation and apologies.


I texted Stephanie.


I freaked a little.  I got sick to my stomach.  I freaked some more.


FINALLY... about a grueling 30 minutes later... Ginny calls me laughing and is not mad at me at all... which proves I have the best friend in the world.  Dave told me I needed to tell her our relationship and practical jokes have turned into "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" and I should be excused for my brain fart.  I told him that that joke was probably a little too soon.


I call Stephanie dreading the wrath of my pregnant friend and she is laughing too as I'm desperately trying to explain and apologize.  She actually thought it was hilarious and is the one who told me I HAD to blog about this.


Talk about being frustrated with yourself.  I don't know if I have ever been that angry with myself.  I know I probably DROVE THEM NUTS apologizing over a million times.  


I HATE that I didn't pay attention to the date and I really didn't  forgot...in all actuality.... I don't even know if I EVER even knew the date of the shower OR the current date of the day.  I tell you the truth... I am losing my marbles this pregnancy.  I can't REMEMBER ANYTHING and am a ditz.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?


Anyways, I'm already planning on making it up to my friends in a big way.  I owe them.   I just knew that Ginny was trying to pull a big one over on me... turns out that the joke was on me afterall!  UGH!  


Gin and Steph.... I truly am soooooooooooo sorry!!!!!  I love you both, and can't believe I have turned into this fat, stupid woman with raging hormones and no brain.  


Mark my words.... unless I hear the voice of God ordain it Himself.... this is the LAST time I will ever be pregnant.  I'd like to keep what little brain matter functioning that I have left.